He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
