you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
