she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
