i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
