Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
