Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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