Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
