i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
