get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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