i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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