yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
