wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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