I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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