Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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