SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
