yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
