I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
