sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
