That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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