I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
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This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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