They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
