I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
