I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
