You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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