Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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