I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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