a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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