You're completely useless in the revolution.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
