rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
