She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Randomize
