there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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