Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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