I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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