Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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