I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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