She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
