now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
