i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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