sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
