these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
