I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
