Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
