i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down