guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
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i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner