its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
