Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
