Your face is a jimmy john
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize