We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
