ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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