Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize