I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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