he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
