well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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