I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
