Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
