I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
