why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
