C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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