I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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