i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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