sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
