I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Randomize
