i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
