Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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