Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
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It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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