end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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