Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
