I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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