i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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